Sweet Adult Jokes Sms

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Sweet Adult Jokes Sms

 

 

 

 

Biology teacher told all students to draw female reproductive organ.

one girl felt shy and looked down.

sardar boy shouted – mam she is copying.

Adult Jokes Sms

 

Lady 2 dentist: Dant nikalwane se to pregnent hona achha hai,

Dard to kam hota hai..

Dentist: abhi soch lo kya karwana hai,

fir main chair usi hisab se set karu

 

Nurse : khan saheb,mubarak ho,

aap ko judwa bete hue hain.

Khan : yeh to hona hi tha,

maine koshish jo dono taraf se ki thi

 

 

Condom says to whisper : buddy every months u stop my business for one week

Whisper says : ahh if u make a mistake one time, I’ll loose my business for 9 months…..

 

 

A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector.

Friend: How was ur first night?

Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed,

200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet

 

Prostitution is best business

Two prostitutes were talking:

We’re in the best business in the world

Why’s that then?

Well, we’ve got it, we sell it, and we’ve STILL got it!

 

Sand saal mein 300 bar sex karta hain

Wife to husband : ek Sand saal me 300 bar sex krta hai

Tum iska adha bhi nahi krte.

Pati : ye kaha likha ha ke wo 300 bar ek hi cow ke sath krta hai

 

When girls wear tight fittings,

Neither they are

Comfortable

Nor

Boys are comfortable�. !!

 

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hain

  1. Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata he?
  2. Jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye aur uski maa kahe,

HE BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA.

 

Galib sahab par ek ladki ne peshab kar diya.

Galib :aye chanchal shokh hassena ye kaisi nadani hai?

Grl:Aap jis jheel se nikle hain,ye usi jheel ka pani hain

 

A girl goes 2 doctor n says-Doctor mere niche 1 ched aur kar do.

Doctor asked: why?

Girl : business aacha chal raha hai soch rahi hu ek branch aur khol loon.

 

 

Girl: I’m like a radio, my mouth speak, my left breast

tuner, right 1 volume. Man: Can I try? (touches d

breats)-no sound. Girl: U haven’t plugged in yet!

 

Nipple don’t be far, can I press u in my car. Up

Above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let

me suck you, don’t feel shy.

 

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?

His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

 

Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.

MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got

my nose in her armpit. Now what?

 

 

Trending  Funny Jokes For Adults

 

luv d way it rubs against d soft pink flesh n makes a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in&out,up&down,can`t wait 4 next time.luv my toothbrush

 

Angry Husband sends

SMS to his mother-in-law

“Your product not

cooking food properly”

Smart Mother-in-law replied

“Product sold,

Seal opened,

Warranty expired,

Manufacturer not responsible”

 

Lady ekdum sexy mood me

apne b.f(pappu) se puchti hai-

 

Girl :

Agar meri left leg Lunch ho

aur right wali Dinner ho

to tum kya pasand kroge ?

 

Pappu: Main Lunch aur Dinner k

beech shaam ki chaaay peena

pasand krunga..

 

Breakfast is a big pain

when the wife orders the cook:

“Sahab ke ANDE ubaal dena..!!”

and the cook asks

“aur mem saab aap ka doodh garam karu?

 

A short thing

its get longer as u hold it

& pass between woman’s breast

& enters into a small hole

What is it?

Ans. cars seat belt..

u dirty mind

 

2 men went 2 a call girl.

1st went in and came out n said

“Na my wife is better.”

2nd went in and came out n said

“U R right ur wife is much better.”

Sms Funny Jokes For Adults

 

Do you like maths,

if so add a bed,

subtract ur clothes,

divide your legs and

can we multiply?

 

 

s – smile

e – energy

x – xcitement so make

s e x a daily habit,

and you’ll always b succ sex ful! in life.

 

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,

when a man puts his location

in a woman’s destination,

did U understand the explination or

would U like a demonstration?

 

A husband was asked:

Do u talk to your wife after sex?

His answer: Depends,

If I can find a phone.

 

 

 

Utility of Mangalsutra?

Licence 2 enjoy

Kamasutra without Condom..

Whats the utility of a Condom?

Licence to enjoy Kamasutra

without the Mangalsutra…

 

Ladki : Maa Tumhe Yaad H Tumne Kaha Tha Mard Ke Dil Mein,

Jaane Ka Rasta Uske Pet Se Hokar Jata H.

Maa : Yes Dear

Ladki : Khusi Se, Par Maine Kal Raat Ek Naya Rasta Dhund Liya.

 

Jab Tere Chiku The, Hum Tere Pichu The,

Jab Tere Aam Hue Sab Pareshan Hue,

Jab Tere Kharbhuje Hue Sab Bade Ajube Hue,

Jab Tere Jhul Gaye Sab Tujhe Bhul Gaye.

 

Ek Ladki Ne Garib Ladke Se Pucha:

Tumhar L*Nd Itna Bada Kaise ????????

Garib Ladka :- Kyunki Bachpan Se Mere Pass

Koi Aur Khilona Hi Nahi Tha

 

Aaj Phir Uska Dil Dhuka Diya Humne,

Apne Pyar Ka Karz Chuka Diya Humne

Dekar Lalch Use Ice-Cream Ka

Andhere Mein …………….

Apna Chusa Diya Humne

 

Aids Par Kaabu Paane Ka Assan Tarreka

Ek Ke Ander Ek C0nd0m Daalkar Uska Use Kare,

Dono Ke Beech Mein Lal Mirch Powder Daal Le,

Agar……

Upar Ka Fata To Ladki Ko Pata Chalega ,

Or

Ander Ka Fata To Ladke Ko Pata Chal Jayega.

 

Par Koi Husband Ka L@Nd Pakad Kar Nahi Kehta Welldone

Happy Independence Day Images

 

Waqt Nahi Ab Rone Ka,

Waqt Hai Baccha Hone Ka,

Tab Kyu Nahi Royi Thi,

Jab Chipak Chipak Ke Soyi Thi,

Jab Kiya Hai To Bharo,

Tab Kehti Thi Aur Karo Aur Karo.

 

Charming Funny Adult Sms Jokes

 

Ramlal– Thakur Saab Gabbarsing Ne Bahurani Ki Izzat Lut Li Hai.

 

Thakur– To?

 

Ramlal– Bahurani Puch Rahi Hai Ki Gabbar,

Se Badala Lena Hai Ya PAYMENT…!

 

Me Bol Raha Hu “Kon Baneghi Garbwati Se”,

Aapki Girl Frnd Humari Hot Sit Par Baithi H,

Humare Sath Khel Rahi H “Kaun Baneghi Garbwati”,

 

Agli Awaj Aapki Girlfrnd Ki……….

 

Aah. Hu. Aaah Aaahh.Ah. Ah. Na .Na.. Na

 

Arj Kiya H, Dosto,

 

Mat Ched Inn Hasinao Ko,

Ye Tere Bas Ki Baat Nahi,

Ye Khelti Hai Jis Khilone Se ,

Wo Khilona Hi Tere Pass Nahi.

 

Ek Baat Sun Yaar

Koi Naya SMS Aaya H Kya Tere Pass,

Agar H To…..

 

Kagaz Par Likh Ke

 

G**Nd Mein Daal Le Apni

Send To Tere Se Hoga Nahi

 

Suhag-Raat Ko Pati Patni Par Chada.

Patni Hasne Lagi

Dobara Fir Se Aisa Hi Hua

Pati Ka Dimag Garm Hua.

Pati: Has Kyu Rahi Ho

Patni: Pankhe Mein Apki “G@@Nd” Dikti Hai.

 

Santa : Yaar Mujhe Subha Jaldi Utha Dena,

Banta : Mera Lu*D Pakad Ke So Ja,

Ye Subha Mujh Se Phele Uth Jata Hai

 

1st : Oh My God Mere Paise Chori Ho Gaye,

2nd : Magar Tu To Paise BRA Mein Rakhti Thi,

1st : Mujhe Kya Pata Tha Sala Chori Kar Raha Hai.

 

Kya Aap S*X Karte Hai,

Kya Aap C0ND0M Use Karte Hai,

Kya Aap A|DS Se Darte Hai,

To Aap HATH Se Kyu Nahi Karte Hai,

HATH Chale To A|DS Tale.

 

First Time Iss Tarah Kro Ki Jaise,

Second Time Kabhi Milegi Hi Nhi,

Aur Second Time Is Tarah Karo Ki,

Pehle Kabhi Kiya Hi Nahi Ho.

 

Lady : Saree Mein Agar Ek Bhi Hole Dikha,

To Saree Wapas Kar Dungi,

Shopkeeper : Madam Ji, Aap Hole Diakhao To Sahi,

2 Saree Aapko Free Mein De Dunga.

Funny Adult Sms Jokes

 

Man Goes To Chemist : I Need A Poison.

Chemist: I M Not Sell U That.

Man Show Wife’s Photo

Chemist: Oh Sry, I Didn’t Know U Have A Prescription.

 

Santa: My Neighbor And His Friends Were Gambling Throughout The Night.

What A Waste Of Time

Banta: How Do U Know?

Santa: I Was There Watching Them All The Night.

 

Osama Consult A Psychic About The Date Of His Death.

Psyche : You Will Die On US Holiday. Which One?

Any Day U Die Shall Be US Holiday.

 

Wife 2 Hubby: See Honey That My 1st Boyfriend At The Bar.

He Is Drinking Since I Left Him 10 Years Ago.

Hubby: Nonsense! No 1 Can Celebrate That Long.

 

Today I Met Sum 1 At Cafe Coffee Day,

Real Good Looking, Dead Smart So Delightful,

More Like A Celebrating As I Walked Nearer,

Damm Saint Gobain Glass.

It Was Me.

 

A Smart Person Sends Sms And

A Lazy Keeps Reading Them Only.

It Is Like Me And You.

 

Hey Want To Talk 2 U Now,

Can U Tell Me ?????

Pls Nothing Special But Need To Hear Ur Voice

Just 2 Test Whether

I Can Understand The Monkey’s Language Or Not.

 

Contest : Write A Concise Essay

Which Contains The Factors Religion,

Sex And Mystery Within Essay,

Oh God I M Pregnant I Wonder Who Did It.

 

What Is True Bravery: It Is To Arrive Home

Fully Drunk After A Late Night Out,

Wife Waiting With A Broom Stick And,

U Ask Honey, Are U Still Cleaning?

 

I Have A Confession To Make,

I Have Been Telling Everyone In Our Locality,

That U R A Stupid Fool,

I Have Been Telling Everyone In Our Locality,

That U R A Stupid Fool,

Iam Sorry I Did Not Know, It Was A Secret.

 

A Call Girl Goes To Bank To Deposit A 1000 Rs

Note Teller Said: Its Fake Note.

Call Girl: Oh God I Have Been Raped.

 

A Dying Husband Said To His Wife,

Dear Our Fourth Son Always Looked Different From Others,

Did He Have A Different Father ?

Wife : Yes……

Husband: Who ??????????

Wife: You…..

 

Two Lovers Plan To Suicide,

Boy Jumped 1st Girl Closed Her Eyes And Return Back Saying,

Love Is Blind

Boy In Air Opened Parachute Saying

Love Never Dies

 

Liquor Is An Enemy Of Our Country,

We Must Finish It.

I Take A Quarter U Take A Half,

Ask Your Frnd To Take Full And

Lets Empty The Stock Enjoy

 

Two Men Meet Both Looking For Their Lost Wife.

1st How Ur Look Like?

2nd She Is 5’8″, 36-26-36, Fair , Blonde,

Blue Eyed And Urs?

1st Forget Mine Lets Find Yours.

 

Man Calls His Wife By N IDEA Mobile,

The Call Go 2 Other Lady After Talking,

For While They Start Dating And Get Married

Moral:- AN IDEA CAN CHANGE YOUR WIFE.

 

Sorry To Disturb You Don’t Feel Bad

I Wanna Say Something With Lots Of Guts But,

Promise Me U Wont Mind I Need Ur Ans Rite Now

I Tried To Ask It Frm U B4 But Didn’t Dare.

So Pls Tell Me. Melody Itni Chokleti Kyun H

 

I Like To Compare You With A Nice Cold Glass Of Beer,

Beautiful Color, Perfect Taste,

Really Perfect And When The Glass Is,

Empty I Just Take The Next One.

 

 

 

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